Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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