Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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