HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
