i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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