Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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