Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
