I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think my moral compass just broke
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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