Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
