Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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