you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
