No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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