I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
