You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
