so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize