I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
