You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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