whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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