It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
