Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
