Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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