She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize