just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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