how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
