i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
