I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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