Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can't turn off my feet"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
