When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
