yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
