i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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