Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
