I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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