thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
