This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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