GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
