Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
