do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
everyone is single if you try hard enough
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
