Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
