omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
