apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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