I just threw up on my dentist
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
