yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
