she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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