I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
