The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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