I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
