No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
