why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
