I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
