i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
