Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
