tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
