You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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