Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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