My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize