And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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